May 24, 1923, a little boy was born to Jennie Cook Fletcher
and Ephram Floyd Fletcher in a small white tenant house on the Borthick Farm,
about six miles from here. He had an
older brother, Edgar Fort, a sister, Lattie, another brother, “J.P. John Presley”,
as Aunt Lattie would tell everyone when he was born. I have no doubt that they were all
loved. When Daddy was 22 months old, his
mother died from pneumonia. Granddaddy
Fletcher was asked by his sister and brother-in-law to adopt him, but he said
no; however, he did allow them to raise him since he had his hands full with 4
children who were 4 years apart in age.
It was during the great depression, and to say times were hard, is an
understatement. Granddaddy wanted to
make certain that Daddy knew he was loved and wanted, and to understand that he
was his Father.
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| This is us visiting the Georgia Fletchers...Bob is either taking the picture or stayed home to milk |
Daddy loved being raised on the farm, where he was taught to
work hard, and yes, he loved to play, too.
He and Uncle Bud cleared a lot of this land with a team of mules. He
went to the one room school at Dozier, which through the woods, was probably
about mile, but about 3 miles by road.
His teacher was Uncle Bud’s old maid sister, Aunt Ellen Widick. Daddy loved to run to school to start the
fire in the pot belly stove.
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| Uncle Bud, Aunt Jenny, family from Oklahoma, Brian, Back: Bob, Mother, Daddy holding me trying to get away, Family from Oklahoma, Aunt Ellen |
Daddy developed some bad habits early on, when he started
chewing tobacco when he was 7 years old.
He was told by the black man that “if he walked behind Mr. Bud, and spit
where Mr. Bud spit, then he would never say anything.” ….hmmmmmm…ROFL
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| My first birthday. |
Daddy was spoiled, but he was taught responsibility and
respect. He loved his Aunt Jenny and
would call her “momma”. He bought her a
small diamond ring when he was fairly young, because she had always wanted
one. I was blessed to get that ring for
my 21st Christmas and it is one of my treasured possessions. I would
joke that Daddy never got a spanking, but he told me that when he was about 5,
he was sitting on the back porch waiting for the housekeeper to come, and she
was late. When she arrived, Daddy said,
“you better get your fat ass in there because Momma is mad that you are
late.” He got a whipping…
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| This is the earliest picture that I know of Daddy. It sat on our buffet all of my life. |
Daddy always had a vehicle, and the one we heard most about
was an old jeep. He told of going to a
neighbor’s house where they would go up and down the huge hill…so “mudding” is
nothing new. He travelled greatly, often
taking friends and family out west…funny, he never wanted to travel after he
had a family! LOL BUT, he always made sure that we each had
opportunities to do whatever was offered us.
When he finished the 8 grades at Dozier, he then went to
school in town, and would stay with his Daddy during the week. He hated living in town, so often, after
school, he would hitch-hick back to the farm, which was about 7 miles. MERCY!!
That was the way that so many got around back then. Mother would tell about Daddy picking up
somebody to carry them home, and I wish I could recount the funny stories they
told.
Daddy was a confirmed bachelor, but for some reason, he
decided to marry Mother. I often
wondered what it was that made her the special one. I think he wanted a family. Daddy and his brothers were like “baby
whispers” and could pick up a crying baby, only to have the baby stop crying almost
instantly. I do know that Mother said
she loved Daddy because of the way he treated his mother. Uncle Johnny Harris, Daddy’s best friend
growing up, came to visit after Daddy died and told that He (Johnny) would
spend as much time as he could on the farm.
They would be hoeing the tobacco, and would be side by side, and then
Johnny would look up, and Daddy would be far ahead of him. Johnny said that he knew that Daddy was
thinking about going to see Martha and wanted to finish.
Daddy would take Mother a pack of Wrigley’s Doublmint gum
every time he went to see her. They would
often go get a milkshake at Fairlane’s, at the bottom of the hill. There was some “scandal” about if Daddy
actually asked Mother to marry him. So,
the story goes, Mother said that she dreamed they got married, and supposedly
Daddy said, “then why don’t we.”
ROFL…Maybe in Heaven they will have “videos” of good events and we can
see the replay to find the truth! BWAH
HA HA HA…
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| This is SO rare to see my Daddy barefooted!! |
Daddy and Mother married on July 18, 1951 at Grace Baptist
Church. She was 19 and he was 28. We
called her “an old man’s darling.” NEVER
was either referred to as “her old man” or “his old lady”. Respect was observed~~always. They had dug a hole in the land in “the curve”
to build a basement house, that would later be added onto, but since Uncle Bud
and Aunt Jenny were declining in health, they moved in with them. One day shy of 9 months later, Bob was born. Eight years later, the day they were to sign
adoption papers, Mother discovered she was pregnant with Brian. Two years
later, the APPLE of their EYE was born~~ME…The Best is ALWAYS saved for
last…ROFL…Since I am writing this, I can take a creative license…
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| Daddy and Uncle George, Mother's oldest brother, in Florida |
The truth is, we were loved equally. We were raised with a love for God, faith,
family, community, home and all the things that mattered. NEVER did Daddy whip one of us, but Momma
did. Daddy had to simply look at me to
send me into tears knowing I was doing wrong. Our household was not divided
into “her” and “his” tasks, because both of them did what needed to be done. Mother said that Daddy changed as many
diapers as she did, but the feeding was always passed to her, because, that is
where the food was! LOL Daddy washed as many dishes as anyone, but he
did limit his cooking to grilled cheese sandwiches. He didn’t sit around and expect to be “waited
on”. If he wanted something, he got up
and got it…RESPECT…our home was filled with respect.
People who didn’t know Daddy, would say that he was quiet
and shy…HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Well,
Mother, like me, was LOUD, and it was easy to think that, but Daddy was a little
social butterfly in his own circle of friends.
He is the one that did the grocery shopping, because he took Son to town
each Saturday…guess who was his constant companion? Yeppers, I was 2 steps behind him most all
of my life, following him like a little puppy.
He would give me and my brother a quarter every Saturday to go to
Gregg’s to buy candy, or whatever we wanted.
I LOVED to look at everything in the store and I am sure my eyes were as
big as saucers. The owners were so kind
to us and treated us graciously. The
store was in a “strip mall” (ha)~~There was A&P grocery, Clindard’s
Drugstore and Gregg’s 5 & Dime. We
bought our groceries, and Daddy would go get a cup of coffee with all the men,
and we bought our “sundries” at Gregg’s.
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| Daddy's Maternal Grandfather, George Cook. His Aunts: Emma, Myrtle, Jennie (His Mother) |
Most every trip to town involved us stopping at Clinard’s
for Daddy to get a cup of coffee and us getting whatever we wanted. I was fascinated by the LARGE COKES, that
were about 5 inches tall, but sometimes, ice cream was the treat. Those old men would say something to me, and
I would instantly lean from my stool to my Daddy’s safe arms. I wanted to be with him, but I didn’t want to
be talked to. I just wanted to listen. On Saturday’s, we would often go to Ashburn’s
Feed Store, where the old men sat around eating peanuts and throwing the shells
on the floor~~long before it was popular in restaurants. Again, I LOVED seeing everyone, but I just
didn’t want to talk to them…I was painfully shy, but I had to be with my Daddy!
I don’t know how Daddy walked the first 5 years of my life, because I was often
curled around his leg in fear!
Daddy believed in going to the source for information. If he wanted to know something, then he asked
YOU…not somebody else, and believe me, he would say what he wanted to say! He was not unkind, but he was straight
forward, and didn’t mind telling what he thought, BUT what set him apart from
so many, was that he didn’t feel the need to TELL everyone what he
thought! Several people have told me of
the time when he was the Chairman of the ASCS Office (they were the ones who
made sure the government rules were observed by farmers, and I think MANY of
you would be absolutely SHOCKED at how the government CONTROLS farmers~~no
other profession has such guidelines to follow!). There was a certain farmer that lived in the
Orlinda area (North Western part of the county) who would come in and complain
EVERY single time a law changed. They
would explain and say they had no say, and had to follow the law. Well, sure enough this man came in AGAIN, and
said his list of complaints. The
committee sat and listened to him ranting.
When he was done, Daddy calmly and quietly said, “Mr. (whatever his name
was.) we have (he gave the number of farmers) x amount of farmers, and you,
sir, have caused us more trouble that ALL combined. The man stammered and left and never returned
again.
Daddy was a champion for young people. He believed that you supported them and gave
them opportunities, because that was the only way to learn. At his graveside service, the son of the
funeral home owner, told about delivering fuel to our farm on his first day,
and how scared he was. Daddy told him to
take his time, pay attention and that he would do fine…That was pretty impressive
to hear, 22 years later. The day of
Daddy’s 80th birthday, he bailed over 500 bails of hay. 13 days later, he died. The young man who had been cutting the hay,
was so frustrated that the equipment was breaking, and his father/grandfather
wasn’t around to help. Daddy told the
young man that this was just a learning experience~~we don’t like things to
break, but it is part of life and we have to deal with it and it will be
ok. The young man recounted to me how
meaningful it was for Daddy to care and to give him words of
encouragement. Years after Daddy’s
death, a NASA engineer told me and mother about Something that Daddy did for
him when he was working at the ASCS on his first job…we were at the funeral
home for the death of this man’s mother.
Jerry told about making a mistake, and he knew he was wrong. Daddy had seen Jerry at church and asked how
he was liking working at the ASCS office.
Jerry told of a man who was making his life miserable because of the mistake. Daddy listened and said it would be ok and to
hang in there. Jerry said that Daddy
NEVER said anything, but he was CERTAIN that Daddy spoke to the man, and yes,
he had~~in private. He told the man that
young people are just like adults, and make mistakes, and the ONLY way they
will learn is if they are given the opportunity, and when they mess up, let it
go. He believed in the YOUTH and he was
always friendly and supportive, but never preachy!!
Daddy couldn’t tell a joke to save his life, but he tried,
and he would laugh at himself. Still, I
have two friends, that all I have to say is, “he is crippled, you know” and
laughter will ensue! These two friends
were at my house for supper, and Daddy tried to tell the joke, and we were all
in tears from laughing so hard…Our table was filled with love and
laughter. Gossip was not part of our
life, but we often discussed people, often resulting in Daddy getting up to
call his sister to ask for details. When
Mother would ask if someone had died, he would reply, “if they aren’t, then
someone did a terrible injustice”
(meaning they were buried…). We
were expected to be at the round table each night at 6:30, and if not, you best
have a good reason. Some things in our
life were never questioned. The same was
true with church. Mother simply said, IF
you can stay out until 2am (or later), then you certainly can get up and be at
Sunday School and Church. It was never
discussed at our home.
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| I told you that You couldn't see too many pictures of good cornbread!! |
I have cried as I have allowed myself to remember
Daddy. There is no way to type all the
memories that have flooded my mind. I
have thought WHAT the ONE thing I learned from him that was most important, and
that is impossible to say. I respected
that he taught us that “if someone can live with it, he could live without it.” He wasn’t worried about getting what he
thought was due him. He just lived life
as honorably as he could. Never did he
tell us to do the opposite from him. He
LIVED what he taught us. Our home was
filled with love and unkind words were not part of our vocabulary. I can REMEMBER most every cuss word said by
my parents, because it was so RARE. I
can still envision the Saturday that Brian and I were at the piano after my
freshman year of college as we tried to find a song to sing for the special
music at church the next day. Since I
was now CULTURED, I thought we should sing something they had never heard. Brian thought we should sing something they
knew…we were arguing when Daddy walked into the front room and said, “Shut the
Hell up.” I’m not really sure what was
said next, because I was in shock and you could have heard a pin dropping onto
the carpet. I do know, we had a song
ready within 10 minutes! YIKES~~that was the
first time EVER I had been spoken to that way by Daddy, and the last time.
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| In honor of Daddy's birthday, I had his favorite food~~gravy. I only had hamburger, so it was hamburger gravy over cornbread. He hated biscuits...lol He was as happy with sliced bread as with anything. And, yes, I can make gravy out of just about anything! =) |
So, I have left the title of this post as TECHNIQUE TUESDAY,
because learning about my Daddy, is a lesson in HOW we should live…the
techniques he demonstrated in his life, sure could make our world a better
place. I KNOW many of you have been
blessed with good Daddies, and others, sadly have not, but I HOPE you have had
a man in your life as gentle and loving as my Daddy was. I miss him so much, but I wouldn’t have him
living on this earth with a broken body for anything. I laugh at those stupid posts of “who would
you spend one hour with if you could” because if I had only one hour, there is
NO WAY I would let him go again! I was
so proud and honored to have been his baby girl, and for the life of me,
there is no way to comprehend why I was so blessed. I KNOW you all think I just keep saying that,
but it is true. He was a good man who was
respected by his community, his church and his family. I always thought that Mother was the “head”
of our household, but when Daddy died, our family fell apart. NEVER did I realize how he quietly and
lovingly kept us together! I could type
for hours about my love for Daddy, but I need to stop….
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| Daddy LOVED to bail hay. |
I LOVE you Daddy.
Thank You, God for allowing me to love him. I am honored and humbled to “remember who I
am”…~charlotte♡
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| I don't think a day goes by that I don't miss my Daddy...Happy 93rd Birtday in Heaven. I bet it is so awesome to get to know your birth Mother! Wow...I can't wait to meet all those people that you have loved and who raised you to be such an amazing Daddy...WOW...I love you so much. Thank you for loving me and for being THE BEST. | |
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